Women's Boxing: One Male's Perspective

This article was published in the original Podium magazine on Oct 1, 1999, with the tag line, "Will men ever take women's boxing seriously?"

by Kevin Hilditch


On September 18, 1999, I had my first opportunity to view a professional women’s boxing match. It was for the Featherweight title. The competitors were Mia St. John (the champ) and Kelley Downey. This was all part of the lineup at an HBO boxing event in Las Vegas featuring Oscar De La Hoya vs. Felix Trinidad. I was very interested in seeing this match because I had heard that women’s boxing was much more aggressive than men’s boxing. I was very disappointed. Not by the boxing, although it appeared that the women may have lacked in training (perhaps from a lack of sponsors?), but by a number of other elements that I had not bargained for.

Firstly, the commentators, in their pre-fight and round-by-round commentary, focused more on the fighters’ physical appearance, and generally treated the fight as if it were no more than a ‘catfight’. Except for George Foreman, who treated the event as a boxing match and not just two women fighting, the commentators were completely unprofessional and disrespectful to the fighters and their abilities. Comments such as "She doesn’t want to mess up that pretty face of hers" does not seem to me to be professional round-by-round commentary. What if a commentator in the De La Hoya fight had said "With a great ass like that he can’t possibly lose this match!" I think you get my meaning.

Secondly, the match was only four rounds. The only other match that was that length was the purely entertainment showcase featuring the "Super Heavyweight" Butterbean. I’m not sure of the reasons for this, but my impression was that the coordinators of the match did not feel that the two women had the endurance or perhaps strength to last the full 12-round fight.

Finally, a match of this calibre, in a pay-per-view event with the highest amount of viewers outside of heavyweight bouts, failed to support the fighters, and instead chose to belittle the women’s event. This must be more than frustrating to the boxers, trainers, sponsors, etc., who are all trying to promote a sport that they take very seriously.

Unfortunately, Mia St. John also chose to pose for Playboy Magazine. In my opinion, this is not a way to gain respect for herself as a professional boxer, and not the most intelligent move for her career. This just furthers a perception of women in sport as objects rather than athletes.

My motivation for writing this article? In the Toronto Star newspaper’s Sept. 30th edition, there is an article about Muhammed Ali’s daughter Laila going into boxing. What was the headline? - "Ali’s daughter a knockout." [see below.] For a legend like Ali, having his daughter entering the fray is an incredible event and an opportunity for the legacy to continue... but not with the papers touting it as simply, and in every sense of the word, a spectacle.



This is just another example of the media choosing to condescend rather than to support women entering the male-dominated sport of boxing. It seems to me that the male boxers, commentators, promoters, etc., are either threatened by the possibility of women being equal to the task of boxing in strength, endurance and ability, or they feel that the only way to sell women in the sport is to portray them in a sexual manner. Or both. This makes me believe and understand that it must be very difficult for women in any sport to be recognized and respected. This is unfortunate and unnecessary.

So here’s to George Foreman and anyone who supports these women in their fight to gain the proper recognition they deserve --in this sport and any other. To all others, it is time to overcome your egos and ignorance, and to allow these women their due right to participate.


Kevin Hilditch is a Shiatsu massage therapist in Toronto. He lost $10 on the De La Hoya fight.

Alternative or Complementary Therapies

This article was published in the original Podium magazine on Aug 25, 1999, with the tag line, "How can we best assess the wealth of alternative medicine options now available to us?"

by Kevin Hilditch

*This article is written to address certain issues, positive and negative, about the field of complementary therapies and its relationship to Western medical practice.*

There are a wide variety of therapies available to the consumer: Massage therapy, Shiatsu, Reflexology, Rolfing, Therapeutic Touch, Craniosacral, Polarity, LomiLomi, Reiki, Accupuncture. And the list goes on and on and on.

Over the last few years, there has been a great interest in these types of therapies. The reasons for this are varied, but the consensus of most is that the public's fascination is due to a lack of support from the Alopathic field of "Western" medicine. More simply put, either emotionally or physically, people are looking beyond the usual scope of medical practice for answers to their problems.

Unfortunately, for the most part, there is a lack of empirical or scientific evidence supporting most of the complementary therapies. Funding for mainstream medical research is almost always backed by, or on behalf of, pharmaceutical companies or certain government bodies. Holistic therapies pose a threat to these companies by their very nature; the focus is being taken away from medication and put onto other means of healing. The lack of scientific evidence is therefore self-explanatory.

The irony in all of this is that, in order to be accepted by the public, the unexplained mysteries of each therapy generally require some sort of scientific explanation. Also, because of therapy costs, insurance companies tend to back only those therapies that they feel pose as little risk as possible. To determine such degrees of risk requires research. Unless the individual has the funds to continue treatments on an ongoing basis, which is the usual prescription to recovery, he or she needs to rely upon insurance companies for support.

Due to these reasons, the therapist and his practice are limited to faith, and faith alone, for empirical support. People are looking for explanations beyond their physician, but still tend to require medical explanations to commit to something outside of the Alopathic realm to which they are accustomed.

The problems stem from the fact that the practices of most of the complementary therapies have little alopathic evidence to support their various claims. In addition, the knowledge and practical experience required to treat tends to be limited. Furthermore, without official recognition by the government in the form of a standard registration or certification process, there is no system in place to keep their practices in check.

Granted, the medical establishment has a long way to go before the human body and its various pathologies are fully understood. But, the mainstream knowledge already accumulated is necessary to complement and support the findings of the "alternative" therapies. Without it, claims can be made, and have been made, which may not be true.

Titles, unless already registered, can also be used to make the practitioner appear to be more professional. For example, a made up title such as Master Herbologist or M.H., offers the appearance of credibility. A better example would be someone who has attained a 4-year degree and acquired a title such as a Nutritionist as opposed to someone who has taken a weekend course and calls themselves a Nutritional Practitioner (NP); the layperson may not be able to distinguish between the two titles and be treated for a condition which the latter therapist would not be able to fully comprehend or effectively treat.

This leads me to a more specific issue. There has been some significant research done on the connection between the mind and the body in relation to various disorders and conditions - the most common and widely known being stress. In other words, human emotions and the physical response to them.

Complementary therapies tend to accept the emotional and its accumulating affect on certain conditions more so than the mainstream medical establishment. Some believe that a number of conditions may even be directly related to the emotional state of the individual, or due to certain traumatic events in the patients' lives. The challenge to the therapist is to treat the emotional as well as the physical. In my own experience, clients have wanted to express specific emotional issues in their lives. This is sometimes easier to do with someone with an objective viewpoint, such as an "alternative healer", rather than with a friend or family member, and can therefore be therapeutic for the client.

The danger is in treating the emotional to a degree that is beyond your scope of practice. Or, to believe that a problem rests purely in the emotional; i.e., the only reason there is no improvement is that the person is not willing to " let go" , is "blocking" or does not have enough faith in the treatment. This, I believe, can be a way to explain something medical that the therapist does not fully understand. Therein lies the danger. The job of the therapist is not to diagnose but to treat according to a physician's assessment; to complement their decisions.

In conclusion, it is important for a complementary therapist or practitioner to understand our limitations. We are taught only a limited amount of knowledge. What we learn may give new insight into a condition, and give credence to something that may not have been previously believed to be a treatable or workable method to recovery. ( Or not.) These insights may not be an accepted standard of mainstream medical knowledge, but may be just as valid a form of treatment. Yet, in order to be accepted by the general public, it is also necessary to complement homeopathic, naturopathic, and holistic research and therapy with alopathic research and practice.

The consumer should consider these things. Documentation attesting to the education, experience, and type of practice of the therapist should be made available to the patient. Also, one treatment or therapist may not hold all the answers to regaining good health. Each individual is different and may require different forms of treatment. Unfortunately, governments and insurance companies seem to set the standard for what is considered "valid" forms of treatment.

On the other hand, in order to practice in North America and to be accepted on a wide scale, these standards must be embraced. The truth of the matter is that alternative treatment must truly be complementary, and not an alternative to mainstream medicine at all, but each as a specialty and a complement to each other.

Kevin Hilditch is a Certified Shiatsu Practitioner and a big fan of Ray Deonandan's hair.

Restaurant Etiquette, Part II

This article was published in the original Podium magazine on Aug 4, 1999, with the tag line, "From a man who should know, how to be a good customer. Second part of a two-part series."

by Kevin Hilditch.

Part II - The Customer Is Always Right - How to get the service you deserve

(Have you read Part I?)

Reservations.

One way to guarantee a table in almost any restaurant is to phone ahead for reservations. You may be surprised at how many establishments do encourage this. In some very busy places you may be able convince them to squeeze you in between reservations (i.e. "We can be out in half an hour.") Making reservations also allows you the freedom to get ready at a leisurely pace, avoid long line-ups and to sit at a window seat or a booth by the fireplace. An afterthought would be to gently suggest that the seating be away from the kitchen and the washroom. Unless the noises and smells of either are something you enjoy.

Without a Reservation. (impromptu)

If you are in the unfortunate position of having to wait for a table there are a few ways to make the wait easier. Firstly, ask how long the wait is for a table. More importantly, if at all possible, get your name on a waiting list and request an approximate (or ideally specific) time as to when your table will be ready. Instead of spending your time in the lineup, you will then be able to leave and come back without the worry of losing your place. If there is no place to which to wander off, ask if there is a lounge or bar in which the time can be spent. Sometimes there will be an appetizer menu or, if the wait is too long, some restaurants make the full menu available in such lounges. Make sure you tell the host/hostess where you are and to call you when the table is set. This is not an imposition. If they want your business they will accommodate you.

Note: Do not point at a dirty table and ask to sit there. Do not seat yourself. This is not only impolite to others in line, but the server will be less than receptive to your dining needs.

Service.

Good drinks, good food and good service are your higher- power- given rights! Anything less should be addressed to either the server or, as a last result, the manager. The food and drinks should be the way they are described on the menu. The food should be cooked the way that you want it. The server should be readily available for any further requests (condiments, water, more coffee, etc.) If this is not the case, politely bring it to their attention and expect them to remedy it. Sending back food or a drink will not hurt their feelings, chances are they are not the ones who made them. They can easily void the item from the bill and replace it with something else, or have the cost of the item removed from the final total. A gift certificate towards the next visit may also be a possibility. If the servers do take it personally, then they are in the wrong business. The tip can reflect such a poor attitude. The customer should be made to feel that he or she matters. After all, by paying for the bill you are paying their salary, and the tip will help pay their rent.

Ultimately, if you feel that any problems were not resolved to your satisfaction, and communication between you and the server is less than satisfactory, you should ask to see the manager. If you would like to avoid a confrontation, quietly ask for the manager on your way out and explain the situation. Chances are you are not the first to complain about either the service or the quality of the food. It is not your fault, the waiter will not hate you (chances are they wonÆt even remember who you are, should you choose to return) and you may actually make a difference for the next patron.

The Bill.

Check the bill carefully. Waiters /waitresses and machines can make mistakes. If you feel the prices are not the same as those listed on the menu, do not be afraid to check. Sometimes you may be overcharged or charged for something you did not consume.

Then it is time to decide about the tip. As discussed in Part I, 10% should be the standard unless the servers have been rude or condescending. In this case, it is okay to show your disappointment by stiffing them (leave them nothing or less than 10%). Do not stiff them based upon food or drink quality, or upon the time a meal took to prepare. This is not their fault.

Lastly, check your change. This is an important point because sometimes servers (especially if they feel they they will be tipped poorly) may take it upon themselves to take the tip they feel they deserve before they return the change. This happens! If it does , ask to have the correct amount of change returned and tip accordingly. This is especially true in nightclubs and bars. Beware.

The Rules.

Expect to get what you pay for and more! The employees of a restaurant or bar are there to please you in the hopes that you will bring return business and possibly recommend the place to others; their eager attitude is not just for the sake of tips. That is how a place becomes and stays successful. In order to be successful, an establishment must cater to the needs and expectations of anyone who steps through the door.

Keeping this in mind, the strongest statement you can make in a negative situation is to express yourself clearly to the manager or owner and take your business elsewhere.



Kevin Hilditch is a bartender in downtown Toronto. He is also a registered Shiatsu massage therapist and has never starred in a syndicated sit-com.

Restaurant Etiquette, Part I

This article was published in the original Podium magazine on Aug 2, 1999, with the tag line, "How can we learn to be good restaurant goers? Part one of a two-part series. "

by Kevin Hilditch


Part I - The truth about how wait staff view the clientele and some tips on proper behaviour.

TIPS - To Insure Proper Service

The accepted standard of gratuities is 15 %. In Canada, most servers are paid less than minimum wage because tips are a substantial part of their income. Therefore, they rely heavily on the kindness of their customers. Service, as a gauge for gratuity, should centre around this amount.

Poor service is not always a reflection upon the server. Other extenuating circumstances to take into account are the efficiency of the kitchen staff (how fast you get your order depends on how fast they can get the food ready ), how busy the restaurant is at a given time, whether the menu is poorly designed (length of preparation time required by selected foods or drinks), and how many tables (customers) a server may have to deal with at one time.

For these reasons, unless the service is terrible, 10% should be the absolute minimum tip. If the service is exceptional, then that extra effort should be reflected in the tip. As a rule, if you can’t afford to tip then you can’t afford to go out.

The Unfortunate Truth About Tips

Sadly, there are quite a few stereotypes in every establishment, albeit some justified, that are prejudgments of culture, age, dress, and sex. The second you walk through the door you may have already been assessed as to how you will tip, thus you may see the service lacking as a result of this pre-assessment.

• Business People (Suits ) - can tip well but are demanding.
  
• Children and Teenagers - do not know how to tip (yet?)
  
• Women - do not generally tip well and are demanding.
  
• Suburban or Rural Customers (Hicks or Skids) - not as intelligent. Therefore, they either do not know how to tip and /or may tip poorly.
  
• Asian (usually considered to be Chinese) - probably no tip.
  
• African Canadian (Jamaican, Trinidadian, etc.) - demanding, poor tips can be expected.
  
• British / German - no tip.
  
• Mixed Race Couples - low tips.
  
• Americans (Especially with an accent) - rude, demanding and do not tip well (even with the favourable exchange rate)
  

..................................... and the list goes on and on.

The Establishment

The expectations of the clientele should reflect the nature of the restaurant / bar. General Rule: You get what you pay for. Upper scale establishments should kiss your ass. Large family restaurants are generally one step up from Fast Food (East Side Marios, Mr. Greenjeans, Red Lobster, etc.) Fast food joints are at the bottom of the list.

With this in mind, quick service does not mean 30 seconds. If you cannot stand to wait longer than this, then restaurants that would cater to your needs are most likely Taco Bell or Mcdonald’s. Food has to cook first before being served.

The Food

Waiters and waitresses do not generally spit or urinate on your food if you piss them off. But it has happened. Other sources of contamination include: food being served after being dropped on the floor; hands not being washed after cooks or servers finish their "business"; bugs and hair, as well as other foreign objects (even glass), being found in food; post-due date food or food that has sat out a little too long; dirty glasses and dishes; undercooked, overcooked; the-soup-from-the-day-before, and on and on and on. The best way to avoid these hazards is to treat the employees nicely or stay home.

Sitting at a Dirty Table

Don’t do it! Wait until the server has cleared and set the table first or simply ask. This may affect your service and especially the time you wait until you are served. This is called a penalty. The time allotted to a penalty can last for as long as twenty minutes. (A penalty can also be called for bad behaviour.)

Children

No matter how cute they are they should not be running around the restaurant. The staff are not baby-sitters and it is seen as bad parenting.

Dine-and-dash

Guess who has to pay the tab for people that run out on a bill. The restaurant or bar? No. The server has to foot the bill and tip the buser, bartender and house on the non-existent money. This is the absolute worst offense. Think twice before executing this move. Bouncers, security and the wait staff will be happy to hunt you down.

Servers

Servers are not sub-servient. They are not there to wait on you hand-and-foot. Not for $5.95 an hour. Unless of course, the tips reflect the work.

Stay tuned for Part 2...


Kevin Hilditch is a bartender in a downtown Toronto bar/restaurant. He is also a registered Shiatsu massage therapist and a dead ringer for Paul Reiser.




Letters in response to this article


1. Restaurant Stereotypes Unfounded

A letter from J. Charles Victor
August 14, 1999

This letter is in response to the article titled Restaurant Etiquette -Part 1 (Aug. 2).

Although I am not normally one to promote the use of stereotypes, Mr. Hilditch has opened the proverbial can of worms, and used them for bait. Well... I will bite.

I disagree with many of the pejorative impressions Mr. Hilditch has created regarding his clients and their tipping habits. I spent four years as both a server and wine steward. Although this clearly does not make me an expert on the hospitality industry, I do agree that there exist "tipping stereotypes". However, these stereotypes, in my experience, are not as 'unfortunate' as Mr. Hilditch would have one believe. Of the stereotypes presented, three stand out as particularly unfounded.

Women: Although it is true that women may not be willing to part with their hard-earned money as easily as men, the key words are "as easily". I have found that, provided the server actually demonstrates concern for their dining experience, women are quite generous.

British/German/Asians: You may also include the French (both European and Canadian). Again this stereotype may be true for the server that does not know how to deal with the situation. In most European establishments the gratuity is included in the bill. It has been my experience (of which I have a lot - I worked in a HOTEL restaurant) that if the client is told in a non-offensive manner, such as a discrete reminder on the bill in their language, Europeans too are generous tippers. On many occasions I have even been thanked for informing them of our customs, and have never had a upset client because of this. As for French-Canadians, provide them with separate bills without asking - this is often how it is done in Québec and they expect it to be done everywhere, no matter how long they have been 'expatriated'. (I know, I am married to one).

Americans: Mr. Hilditch is way off the mark. The Americans, accent or not, are by far the most generous tippers - anywhere from 20 to 200 % after tax. Often they will leave a small amount on the credit card slip, and a large amount with a handshake as they leave. They often believe that we will be taxed on anything traceable. Again, I must stress, the server must adjust to his/her client - Americans love to have fun, so be just as boisterous as they are (I can't count the number of photographs I have had taken of me by a pleased group of American diners).

In short, Mr. Hilditch should learn a little about his clients - a "hello" in each of their languages, and certainly how to say "the tip is not included". Most of all, care for their well-being and have fun with them no matter how busy you are and you will be rich. Finally, laugh and don't complain about the occasional stiff. If left to its own devices, aggravation will only hinder your serving abilities. Remember: servers/bartenders make very good "coin", hundreds of tax free money each evening, complaining about stereotypes not only makes you sound prejudicial, but also spoiled.

J. Charles Victor
Oakville, Ontario

2. In Response to Mr Charles Victor

Response from Kevin Hilditch
August 17, 2009

I am pleased that I am getting such impassionate responses such as the letter from Mr. Victor. My intention was just that.

The article was intended as controversial. My beliefs are not spelt out in this article, the information provided are the "truths" of the restaurant business from my own viewpoint. It was not intended to offend but to provoke opinion and perhaps action.

My experience is based upon 12 years as a bartender in a number of restaurants which were and are mainly family oriented or middle-of-the-road establishments. The information in the article is based upon stereotypes and prejudices that I have encountered as a server. I do not or, more aptly put, try not succumb to them.

I was hoping to make those of us who were not aware of the "backstage" of the service industry aware of the actions, intentions and judgements of a number of the restaurant employees I have encountered. I was also hoping to spur reactions and shared experiences of other servers such as Mr. Victor.

The uncomfortable truth is that the servers bring to the job their own prejudices as to race, sex, gender, etc. These prejudices can sometimes find shared beliefs with other employees and become stereotypes. Service that is a reflection of these beliefs is what I am trying to bring to light.

On a more noble note, perhaps the awareness stimulated by myself and servers such as Mr. Victor will act to dispell the myth of generalized traits of patrons due to their culture or sex or age.

My opinion:

• To servers - what you give out is what you get back!
• To patrons - Be aware. Be vocal. The customer is ALWAYS right! You pay the money , you should expect the service no matter who you are. (see Part II)

To other servers and patrons: I would love to read other letters whether good or bad about your experiences either working or dining at a restaurant.

Sincerely,
Kevin Hilditch
Toronto, Ontario