by Kevin Hilditch
Part I - The truth about how wait staff view the clientele and some tips on proper behaviour.
TIPS - To Insure Proper Service
The accepted standard of gratuities is 15 %. In Canada, most servers are paid less than minimum wage because tips are a substantial part of their income. Therefore, they rely heavily on the kindness of their customers. Service, as a gauge for gratuity, should centre around this amount.
Poor service is not always a reflection upon the server. Other extenuating circumstances to take into account are the efficiency of the kitchen staff (how fast you get your order depends on how fast they can get the food ready ), how busy the restaurant is at a given time, whether the menu is poorly designed (length of preparation time required by selected foods or drinks), and how many tables (customers) a server may have to deal with at one time.
For these reasons, unless the service is terrible, 10% should be the absolute minimum tip. If the service is exceptional, then that extra effort should be reflected in the tip. As a rule, if you can’t afford to tip then you can’t afford to go out.
The Unfortunate Truth About Tips
Sadly, there are quite a few stereotypes in every establishment, albeit some justified, that are prejudgments of culture, age, dress, and sex. The second you walk through the door you may have already been assessed as to how you will tip, thus you may see the service lacking as a result of this pre-assessment.
- Business People (Suits ) - can tip well but are demanding.
- Children and Teenagers - do not know how to tip (yet?)
- Women - do not generally tip well and are demanding.
- Suburban or Rural Customers (Hicks or Skids) - not as intelligent. Therefore, they either do not know how to tip and /or may tip poorly.
- Asian (usually considered to be Chinese) - probably no tip.
- African Canadian (Jamaican, Trinidadian, etc.) - demanding, poor tips can be expected.
- British / German - no tip.
- Mixed Race Couples - low tips.
- Americans (Especially with an accent) - rude, demanding and do not tip well (even with the favourable exchange rate)
The Establishment
The expectations of the clientele should reflect the nature of the restaurant / bar. General Rule: You get what you pay for. Upper scale establishments should kiss your ass. Large family restaurants are generally one step up from Fast Food (East Side Marios, Mr. Greenjeans, Red Lobster, etc.) Fast food joints are at the bottom of the list.
With this in mind, quick service does not mean 30 seconds. If you cannot stand to wait longer than this, then restaurants that would cater to your needs are most likely Taco Bell or Mcdonald’s. Food has to cook first before being served.
The Food
Waiters and waitresses do not generally spit or urinate on your food if you piss them off. But it has happened. Other sources of contamination include: food being served after being dropped on the floor; hands not being washed after cooks or servers finish their "business"; bugs and hair, as well as other foreign objects (even glass), being found in food; post-due date food or food that has sat out a little too long; dirty glasses and dishes; undercooked, overcooked; the-soup-from-the-day-before, and on and on and on. The best way to avoid these hazards is to treat the employees nicely or stay home.
Sitting at a Dirty Table
Don’t do it! Wait until the server has cleared and set the table first or simply ask. This may affect your service and especially the time you wait until you are served. This is called a penalty. The time allotted to a penalty can last for as long as twenty minutes. (A penalty can also be called for bad behaviour.)
Children
No matter how cute they are they should not be running around the restaurant. The staff are not baby-sitters and it is seen as bad parenting.
Dine-and-dash
Guess who has to pay the tab for people that run out on a bill. The restaurant or bar? No. The server has to foot the bill and tip the buser, bartender and house on the non-existent money. This is the absolute worst offense. Think twice before executing this move. Bouncers, security and the wait staff will be happy to hunt you down.
Servers
Servers are not sub-servient. They are not there to wait on you hand-and-foot. Not for $5.95 an hour. Unless of course, the tips reflect the work.
Stay tuned for Part 2...
Kevin Hilditch is a bartender in a downtown Toronto bar/restaurant. He is also a registered Shiatsu massage therapist and a dead ringer for Paul Reiser.
Letters in response to this article
1. Restaurant Stereotypes Unfounded
A letter from J. Charles Victor
August 14, 1999This letter is in response to the article titled Restaurant Etiquette -Part 1 (Aug. 2).
Although I am not normally one to promote the use of stereotypes, Mr. Hilditch has opened the proverbial can of worms, and used them for bait. Well... I will bite.
I disagree with many of the pejorative impressions Mr. Hilditch has created regarding his clients and their tipping habits. I spent four years as both a server and wine steward. Although this clearly does not make me an expert on the hospitality industry, I do agree that there exist "tipping stereotypes". However, these stereotypes, in my experience, are not as 'unfortunate' as Mr. Hilditch would have one believe. Of the stereotypes presented, three stand out as particularly unfounded.
Women: Although it is true that women may not be willing to part with their hard-earned money as easily as men, the key words are "as easily". I have found that, provided the server actually demonstrates concern for their dining experience, women are quite generous.
British/German/Asians: You may also include the French (both European and Canadian). Again this stereotype may be true for the server that does not know how to deal with the situation. In most European establishments the gratuity is included in the bill. It has been my experience (of which I have a lot - I worked in a HOTEL restaurant) that if the client is told in a non-offensive manner, such as a discrete reminder on the bill in their language, Europeans too are generous tippers. On many occasions I have even been thanked for informing them of our customs, and have never had a upset client because of this. As for French-Canadians, provide them with separate bills without asking - this is often how it is done in Québec and they expect it to be done everywhere, no matter how long they have been 'expatriated'. (I know, I am married to one).
Americans: Mr. Hilditch is way off the mark. The Americans, accent or not, are by far the most generous tippers - anywhere from 20 to 200 % after tax. Often they will leave a small amount on the credit card slip, and a large amount with a handshake as they leave. They often believe that we will be taxed on anything traceable. Again, I must stress, the server must adjust to his/her client - Americans love to have fun, so be just as boisterous as they are (I can't count the number of photographs I have had taken of me by a pleased group of American diners).
In short, Mr. Hilditch should learn a little about his clients - a "hello" in each of their languages, and certainly how to say "the tip is not included". Most of all, care for their well-being and have fun with them no matter how busy you are and you will be rich. Finally, laugh and don't complain about the occasional stiff. If left to its own devices, aggravation will only hinder your serving abilities. Remember: servers/bartenders make very good "coin", hundreds of tax free money each evening, complaining about stereotypes not only makes you sound prejudicial, but also spoiled.
J. Charles Victor
Oakville, Ontario
2. In Response to Mr Charles Victor
Response from Kevin Hilditch
August 17, 2009
I am pleased that I am getting such impassionate responses such as the letter from Mr. Victor. My intention was just that.
The article was intended as controversial. My beliefs are not spelt out in this article, the information provided are the "truths" of the restaurant business from my own viewpoint. It was not intended to offend but to provoke opinion and perhaps action.
My experience is based upon 12 years as a bartender in a number of restaurants which were and are mainly family oriented or middle-of-the-road establishments. The information in the article is based upon stereotypes and prejudices that I have encountered as a server. I do not or, more aptly put, try not succumb to them.
I was hoping to make those of us who were not aware of the "backstage" of the service industry aware of the actions, intentions and judgements of a number of the restaurant employees I have encountered. I was also hoping to spur reactions and shared experiences of other servers such as Mr. Victor.
The uncomfortable truth is that the servers bring to the job their own prejudices as to race, sex, gender, etc. These prejudices can sometimes find shared beliefs with other employees and become stereotypes. Service that is a reflection of these beliefs is what I am trying to bring to light.
On a more noble note, perhaps the awareness stimulated by myself and servers such as Mr. Victor will act to dispell the myth of generalized traits of patrons due to their culture or sex or age.
My opinion:
- To servers - what you give out is what you get back!
- To patrons - Be aware. Be vocal. The customer is ALWAYS right! You pay the money , you should expect the service no matter who you are. (see Part II)
To other servers and patrons: I would love to read other letters whether good or bad about your experiences either working or dining at a restaurant.
Sincerely,
Kevin Hilditch
Toronto, Ontario
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